Does mom know what to do with children? “Yes, of course, it’s in her blood!” many will answer. However, I have to disappoint you that this is not the case at all. Yes, we, mothers, are inventive and creative people, but you must admit that it is not always and we know what to do with our child, which we see 24/7. What is a dad to do with the kids?
What can I say about dad, whose mornings usually boil down to “good morning-thank you for breakfast-bye”, and the evening as it should be - sometimes with family, sometimes at work. How many hours a week does your husband spend actively with his family? I think it won’t be even 40 (well, count and write in the comments, for fun 🙂).
Let's start with the fact that you can go for a walk with a child. If you need a list of specific places, you can read my articles:
But what to do if you didn’t specifically plan to go anywhere, dad is not interested in playing with children and he just sits on the phone in games / news / your option? Surely this irritates you wildly?! And I want dad to communicate with children, spend time TOGETHER, and not just in the same room.
Board games.
Well, or you can ask dad to have children in the evening sections:
Or together:
It will also be communication and child care. And their own ritual - individual time only for dad and baby!
In any case, dear girls, remember that yes, up to a certain age of the child, dad may not be interested in spending time with him, and he may tell you “I don’t know what to do with him, I can’t play his games with him , and tell fairy tales about the kolobok, etc.” but as soon as the child grows up and is able to carry on conversations with dad, the picture will definitely change!
As an option for yourself, in order to “not see this horror” - leave home: meetings with friends, manicure, beautician - fill up! And then after you return home filled, put the child to bed (or maybe your husband will do it), you will be able to fill your soulmate 😉
P.S. Learn more about mindful parenting in my book " ", where I talk about the period in a woman's life from planning a pregnancy to the moment when the child goes to school. You can book a printed version of the book by filling out the form below 🙂
Today we have a post from Yana Kataeva, the author of the 7Yana.tv blog. Three years ago she visited us like, now she works as a family consultant, helping to resolve issues of relationships with children and many other equally important things.
Enthusiastic dads are found in nature, but, alas, much less enthusiastic mothers. If your husband does not show much interest in playing with the child, this is an occasion ... to help him become interested.
When your husband was a boy, there must have been something he was good at. Draw pictures, plan, design. Find out more about this and ask your husband to teach or do something for the child. Our dad has already made dozens of wooden swords and staffs for his son, and they invariably arouse the delight of his son and the envy of other boys.
When during the day the child asks to make a bulldozer for him, answer that dad will do a much better job. And when the husband comes home from work in the evening, be sure to tell him that the child has been waiting for him all day and dreams of making a bulldozer with him. Such "matchmaking" on both sides is beneficial to the relationship.
Very often, mom is ready to allow children much more than dad in their experiments and creativity. Many dads don't like playing with grits, water, or paint because of the mess they make. Find compromises (for example, we play how we want, but we clean the grits from the floor when you arrive) and remember that you do not have a monopoly on the truth.
The cult of the father in the family is created by the mother.
Here are some ways:
What game did he come up with today, what question did he ask, how did he make you laugh. This will create a sense of ownership in your husband's everyday life.
Some dads find it difficult to figure out what to play with their child. They spend much more time with him and are less attuned to the children's "wave". Gently offer: “Maybe arrange a race with dad?”, “Let's treat dad? His leg hurts. Bring a doctor's kit”, “Misha has a shop today. Buy something from him while I set the table.”
Moms are very upset that, while staying with their children, dads strive to attach them to the screen of some device. But criticizing, accusing, ironic is completely useless. It is better, again, to gently suggest: “Today there was already a lot of screen. Maybe look at the pictures in the encyclopedia?
This is my favorite. I often observe a strong bias in family systems: a strong “mother and children” camp and a weak “husband and wife” camp. There is no more reliable way to extinguish a husband's interest in activities with children than to give him the feeling: "they have their own life here, and I'm superfluous."
And go for a walk yourself. Everyone benefits greatly from this. 🙂 It's okay if you return to the mess, and the children will be doing idleness, and not developing things. It is very important for dad to find his own style of communication with children. This is much easier to do in your absence.
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The appearance of a long-awaited child in the house is a great happiness for both parents in any family! But the birth of a baby is only half the battle, because he needs proper care and, of course, upbringing, in which the father plays an important role. A child should not just grow up healthy, he should become a harmoniously developed personality, a full-fledged member of society. An important role in this is played by communication with parents, but not only with mom, but also with dad. The main father's duty is not just to observe the upbringing process, but to actively participate in the upbringing of the crumbs.
In most cases, when the mother and the baby return home, the father, holding the child for a couple of minutes in his strong hands, tries to transfer the little one to the care of his wife as soon as possible. Then, for an indefinite period of time, he is removed from caring for the baby and his direct upbringing, justifying this by saying that the baby is small, you should wait until he grows up: he learns to speak and walk, they say, then dad will find something to do with the child. But while this period comes, several months pass, and then it is very difficult for dads to find an approach to their baby.
Moms and dads, if you don’t want to let this happen in your family, form a relationship between dad and child from a very early age, from the cradle, even if this is the most difficult period for both of you, but try to make dad and child as good as possible at this time longer!
It often happens in families that dad works a lot of time, and the need for children to communicate with their father compensates with various gifts, thereby trying to fill the gaps in raising the baby. Parents, please note: neither toys, nor gifts, nothing will replace a child's father! His participation in the upbringing of children from infancy will seriously help them in their upcoming adult life. The boy will be able to grow up to be a real man, just like his father, a self-confident, independent, honest person, and the girl’s dad will be a guideline from the very beginning when choosing a life partner. Thanks to the timely and correct participation of the father, your baby will always find a place in life.
It has been noticed that the baby always feels the mother, there is always bodily contact between them, but the baby is watching the father. And precisely from that how the father reacts to the actions of the child, the behavior of the baby is determined- whether he can tear a page out of a book or not, touch the buttons on the TV remote control, play with electric wires. It is much easier for dads in families to allow or forbid something than moms. And how parents behave with each other and with the baby, he understands how the responsibilities of the parents are distributed, what actions are inherent in men, and which are in women.
To educate does not mean constantly forbidding, scolding or shaming your baby in any way. You can’t allow the father in your family to become an inquisitor and the child communicates with dad only during another thrashing or moralizing. Know that it is important for a baby to have a warm and friendly relationship with his dad.
Moms and dads, do not exaggerate the capabilities of your baby and do not demand unbearable actions from him. Dads, pay attention to your child and spend as much free time as possible with him, thereby he will adopt a positive example from his father and the need to spend time on moralizing will disappear by itself. If mom wants to see how dad sits with the child, deals with him, giving her the opportunity to take a break, it’s worth showing her husband how to properly babysit the baby or let her read this article. At the same time, there should be no teachings from the woman. It is better if mom and dad take care of the baby together: whether it's changing a diaper, the need to soothe a crying baby, changing clothes or bathing. Before starting any procedure, unobtrusively draw your dad's attention to the actions that you expect from him.
It should be understood that not only tomfoolery and games with the baby is limited to communication between the child and dad. It is very important that dad helps in everyday worries. You can schedule the time and determine the duties that the father will deal with the child. For example, daddy's duties include walking in the fresh air with a stroller on weekends, bathing a baby together in the evenings, or baby massage.
With the advent of a child in the house, all the free time that a woman used to devote to herself and her husband will now have to be given to a newborn to a greater extent, because of which there may not be time left for either her husband or her beloved. For this reason, young mothers often feel guilty. You can fix this if you involve dad in the process of caring for the child and joint housekeeping. After all, sometimes mom is not able to cope with all the affairs alone, there must also be some role of dad in education!
If the mother decided to leave the child for some time to the cares of the father, it is worth unobtrusively, but clearly and clearly give instructions on how to care for the child. Show where diapers, napkins, change of baby clothes are. And do not forget to feed the baby before leaving and leave some milk in the bottle just in case. Thus, the mother will help to get closer to the father with the baby. There are many options, you just need to understand what a particular dad is inclined to. There are no men who are completely indifferent to their child. And every woman is able to cope with the confusion and unpreparedness of the young dad, replacing them with care or pride for her child, or for herself, as an exemplary father.
Great job for parents. But sometimes moms and dads are forced to do urgent things, and the child is bored, does not know what to do. All children are different, and each kid likes to do something different - someone flips through books, someone rattles pots, and someone sits still for 5 minutes - torture, and he rushes all upside down. How to calm little fidgets? Houses? Let's try to find a fascinating thing for any crumb - calm or restless.
It's hard to sit at home when it's summer outside, it's sunny, warm and fun outside. Of course, rain, thunder, wind or, on the contrary, scorching heat does not make anyone want to go outside. Even a child will understand that it is better not to go for a walk yet. And if there are urgent matters or one of the family members is sick, which does not allow you to immediately leave the house with the baby, the question arises: what to do with the child at home in the summer? Every parent has an arsenal of things to distract their little one. Although you can always find something new for your child.
Here, for example, arrange a disco for the baby. Children love to move. Turn on fun music. There is time - set an example - dance with the baby, this will bring you together and cheer you up. If the child is not alone, let them arrange competitions - who is better, who dances longer. Anyone can be a judge - mom, dad or someone who is now next to the children. Competitions are a great stimulus for grown-up kids. You can build towers from cubes - whoever is taller. Or put together puzzles - who is faster, etc. Almost all children love to splash in the water. There will be no question of what to do with a child at home in the summer if he is healthy. It is enough to pour water into the bath, give toys, and that's it - your child will play in the water with pleasure, especially when it's hot outside. It is important not to leave the child alone for a long time, you need to monitor the safety of the bathing process and, of course, control the temperature of the water, because your plans do not include the child's illness.
It is clear that different games are suitable for children of different ages. For example, there are not many options for what to do with a three-month-old baby at home. For such a baby, entertainment with toys hanging in the crib is suitable, it is better if they are bright rattles. The kid will lie, look at objects with interest, touch it with a pen or a leg and listen to what sounds are produced. For kids of this age, this is a favorite pastime. With such children you need to constantly talk, sing songs to them. Even if you are busy, you can tell your baby what you are doing. Take the baby in your arms as often as possible, do not be afraid to spoil - there is not much love, affection and warmth. If the baby is naughty, does not want to stay in the crib in any way, but urgent matters are waiting for you, take the baby with you. Sling is the solution. Many household chores can be done in the company with the baby, putting him in a sling. There are many variations of this product. You can borrow a little one and sew them from different fabrics. the baby also needs to develop. These toys can be filled with various cereals - buckwheat, beans, pearl barley, etc. The child will touch with his hands, and when he grows up, he will be interested in kneading such home-made things.
What to do with a one year old at home? The answer is not so simple. Sometimes a child can get carried away with such a thing, an object that an adult would not even think about. Almost all children at this age like to play with saucepans, unbreakable jars and bottles, spoons, ladles and other kitchen utensils that are safe for a child. If you are busy in the kitchen with your own business, put the baby next to him, give him a few items, let him study. When he gets tired of examining, opening and closing, replace some objects with others, and the child, if he is not hungry and does not want to sleep, will sit a little longer, doing what you gave him. In plastic bottles, you can pour some beans, beans or some kind of cereal. The kid will be happy to rattle with a homemade toy. You can also offer the baby colorful books, preferably such that they do not tear. Children love to look at pictures, but you need to make sure that the baby does not take books in his mouth, some naughty ones bite off or tear off paper and chew, or they can swallow it.
Do you have an urgent job related to the computer, and you do not know what to do with a one-year-old child at home? Plant him side by side, give him a clean sheet, pencils, a pen and just make sure that the baby does not take anything in his mouth. The child will occupy himself for a while. Many kids love to tear paper. You can give your child an unnecessary magazine or an old book, show how to tear sheets, but make sure that the baby does not pull anything into his mouth. In addition, children begin to play with pyramids and cubes a year. Offer them to your little one, show them how to build, and when he gets carried away, leave him to play alone. Put a box or drawer with clothes - and you will be surprised how the baby will sort things out with enthusiasm, trying to try them on.
A two-year-old child has already learned a lot, but does not always find something to do on his own, especially if he is alone in the family. If there are several children, then they often find something to do. Of course, at any age, children love to play naughty, so supervision is always important and necessary. Some kids love to draw on the wallpaper. For such artists, offer pencils, felt-tip pens, crayons, and blank paper. Let them show their talent where it will not interfere with anyone. Other children are not indifferent to telephones, remotes from equipment, etc. It is better for them to give them a broken remote or telephone, and let the child take it to push buttons or make faces at parents while talking to an imaginary interlocutor. All the same cubes and pyramids are of interest to two-year-old children no less than one-year-olds. And the child will try on clothes even harder than a year ago. Many girls are very fond of helping their mother with the housework, for example, washing the dishes. And here you don’t have to think about what to do with a two-year-old child at home. Just put a chair near the sink and do business with your daughter. She will simply be delighted with this lesson. You can pour water into a cup and give toy dishes or ordinary spoons, unbreakable plates, mugs.
It's no secret that modern children can watch TV with interest for hours on end, and almost from the cradle. Naturally, parents get free time when the child is sitting in front of the screen. But keep in mind that watching cartoons affects vision, psyche, behavior, so you should not get carried away with this activity. Twenty or twenty-five minutes a day is the threshold of safe time for watching cartoons and children's shows. Leave the TV as a last resort. Look for other ways to keep your three year old busy at home when you need to get things done.
You can ask the baby to bring two bears, three blue plates, etc. The baby will be busy, while you and your child will repeat or learn colors and counting. In addition, looking for the right items, the child will be distracted and play himself. Turning on your imagination, you can easily figure out what to do with a small child at home. Tell the baby that one of the toys is sick, it needs to be treated, boiled porridge, fed, put to sleep. Lots of options. You can iterate over all of them. Ask the baby to treat, then say that the toy has gotten better, and now she wants to eat. Let the child feed his friend, etc.
Many experts, when answering the question of what to do with children in the evening at home, will say that they need quiet games, reading books, classes without physical activity, so that the child gets ready for bed. But not all parents can boast of an obedient and calm child, especially in the evenings. For some reason, it is at this time that your child seems to turn into a hurricane - he needs to jump, run, squeal. And the more you calm him down, the more he tries to indulge. What to do with kids at home? You can give a lot of old magazines and newspapers, let the baby tear them up, throw them on the floor, jump on crumpled sheets (many children like how they spring), throw paper into the basket. This way of splashing out the emotions accumulated during the day is suitable for children who are calm during the day. Every child loves to splash in the water. Bathing is another way to pacify the fidget and set you up for sleep. Water will calm the nervous system, relieve fatigue, and the baby will be able to become calmer. And then, after listening to a fairy tale or a song, he will fall into a deep sleep.
A child with increased activity can be seen almost from birth. He starts crawling and walking early. Everywhere climbs and does not listen to the elders. You can talk a lot about raising such kids, but now we are talking about something else. What to do at home? The most important thing is that the type of activity should be somehow connected with movements. Even a child should be allowed to listen to a book with a toy in his hands, otherwise the baby simply will not sit still. Give the crumbs tasks: jump five times, run three times to the kitchen and back, jump 10 times over an obstacle, for example, over a rope lying on the floor. Bathing for such children is also an opportunity to relax. The most important thing is not to scold or punish the child. Hyperactive babies are receptive to praise, and punishment does not work on them. So you can scare the baby and lose his trust.
When the child is tired of all the usual things, I want to offer him something new and exciting. If you look at what you have in the pantry, you can think of something to do with young children at home. Left a large cardboard box from household appliances? Great! Making a tunnel for climbing. You can use old wallpaper and tape to make the same tunnel. If the baby does not want to climb himself, show him an example. The child will surely like this activity.
Did you find a closet door or an old shelf in the pantry? Amazing! We make a hill. We put a board, a shelf or a door to the sofa at an angle, and that's it. The hill is ready. Let the kid ride himself or lower the cars. Show your child how to knock down cubes, castles built at the foot of the hill, using a typewriter.
What can you do with children at home so that the business is beneficial and interesting for kids? Here are some easy and fun activities to develop fine motor skills. Take beans, mug, cup and spoon. Let the baby try to pour all the beans from the cup into the mug with a spoon. You can pour water into a container with beans and instruct the child to catch all the beans with a spoon or strainer. Take a small box, cut a hole in the top, ask them to put all the beans through the hole. Instead of a box, you can use a plastic bottle. And if you cut a hole at the bottom, objects lowered through the neck will fall out through it. Such a common thing for an adult, how to peel a boiled egg, for a little man is an exciting activity. And if you offer your child not a chicken, but a quail egg, the child's interest will only increase. This is not the whole list of what to do with children at home.
Sometimes allow yourself to become a child for a while. The kid will appreciate it very much. He will trust you more, see you as his friend. Take all soft toys, small pillows, paper balls - everything that does not have solid parts on it. You can stand still, run from one to another, chase each other, hide in cover and throw these soft objects. The fun will be unforgettable. It is better to end such entertainment with hugs. You can play unusual hide and seek. Looking for a toy. The leader remains alone in the room, hides the item that was chosen in advance, and then the second participant looks for it. It is better to accompany the search with the words "cold", "warmer", "hot" to make the task easier for the child.
Letting go is also a lot of fun. Children love to run after bubbles and catch them. And how much laughter and joy at the same time! By the way, a solution for soap bubbles can be prepared independently at home. To do this, you need to take water, boil it. Let it stand for a while. Take 600 ml of water and 200 ml of dishwashing liquid. We add 100 ml of glycerin to this mixture, mix everything thoroughly and leave it to infuse the solution for about a day. This amount of soap bubbles is enough to amuse the kids many, many times and not think about what to do with the children at home.
Children are capable of doing things with enthusiasm that an adult would never even think about. Toddlers are inventors and dreamers. Show them an example of how to spend time, and when they grow up, they will not watch TV or play computer for days, but will figure out what to do on their own. Teach your child to make the most of their time!
For me, as for most fathers of small children, there used to be a problem, what to do with a child when mom goes somewhere and leaves us alone? This question, of course, arises from inexperience and because I usually work almost all day at work and spend little time with my child. So how do you use the time that remains in the evening to communicate with your child? I realized for myself that you can not be lazy and refer to fatigue. Many psychologists even advise introducing a special tradition - the so-called "father's hour." Thus, you will quickly gain experience in communicating with the child and become as close to him as the mother.
Now I will tell you what you can do with your child, in addition to simple parental responsibilities. Even the most ordinary, at first glance, things, with the participation of the pope, turn into a holiday.
The very first and simplest, of course, is a walk. A leisurely walk in the nearest park or square in the evening will please both the baby and even you, who are tired of work. But the main thing is that you can afford a little more than mom. For example, slide down a high hill or climb a tree, and, of course, just have fun without fear of getting dirty. You can also go, for example, to karting and drive on the track or, like real tough men, shoot at the shooting range. It all depends on your imagination, the age of the baby and the severity of the mother.
Where without sports! Football, basketball, cycling, volleyball, even simple badminton. It gets dark late in summer, so nothing will interfere with active rest. These games are useful in strengthening physical health, developing motor skills, coordination and concentration. Sports help to cope with stress and teach you how to manage your emotions. Another plus is that a tired child, in the evening, will go to bed easier.
By the way, weekend you can go to any competition to introduce the child to the sport, and to the museum and the mother reduces. Try to notice what the baby is more interested in. And if there is no competition, then always you can go fishing. It's definitely only in my father's company. In this case, it is not necessary to chase the catch, the main thing is to colorfully tell which fish are river and which are sea, or just chat. It is not even necessary to go with a fishing rod to some reservoir - a lake in the nearest park and a stick with fishing line will bring no less pleasure.
If you do not want to leave the house, then you can find no less interesting activities. Toys are everything! Even from ordinary cubes, by turning on the imagination, you can build huge castles. The child will ask you to come and help him build some incredible structure. By the way, you can not be limited only to toys. Build a whole city out of linen, furniture, drawers and everything that is at home. Just do not forget, then put everything back in place so that mom does not take the rap for your entertainment.
Bored with toys? No problem! Do something with your hands. The simplest is the costume of a knight or an astronaut. To do this, you need several cardboard boxes, adhesive tape, glue, scissors and paints. After an hour of your work, the baby will have armor, a sword, knee pads, etc., and involve the child in coloring. Using the same tools, make yourself a costume, such as a dragon, and let the child protect the mother princess. During the manufacture of such crafts, show the child more actively what and how you are doing, let him learn. But don't forget the safety rules!
For the next tip, you will need to search the Internet for information in advance and, ideally, try it without a child. Entertaining experiences! But forget about something dangerous. How to grow sugar crystals, how to change the color of water without paint, etc. The main thing is that you yourself understand and can explain why this is happening.
Even simple bathing the baby can turn into an amazing journey of the captain of the ship through the water surface and dangerous reefs. Be sure to try read bedtime stories to your child. After all, they become even more amazing when dad does it.
Do not be afraid to spend as much time with your children as possible, because their childhood will pass very quickly.
