Chapter I
General understanding of body language
By the end of the 20th century, a new type of sociological scientist, a specialist in the field of non-verbalism, appeared. Just as an ornithologist enjoys observing the behavior of birds, so a non-verbalist enjoys observing non-verbal signs and signals when people communicate. He watches them at formal receptions, at the beach, on television, at work - everywhere where people interact with each other. He studies the behavior of people, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost unbelievable that in over a million years of human evolution, non-verbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only from the early sixties, and the public became aware of their existence only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research on the non-verbal aspects of communication done by behavioral scientists before 1970, but even today most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.
Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the pioneers of non-verbal communication, for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad based on how they could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When sound films became popular and less attention was paid to the non-verbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with pronounced verbal abilities began to predominate on the screen.
As for the technical side of the study of the problem of body language; Perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's "The Expression of the Emotions in Humans and Animals", published in 1872. It stimulated modern research in the field of "body language", and many of Darwin's ideas and his observations are recognized by researchers today. all over the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded more than 1000 non-verbal signs and signals.
Albert Meyerabian found that the transmission of information occurs through verbal means (only words) by 7%, by sound means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and by non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissle has done similar research on the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person only speaks words for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence lasts no more than 2.5 seconds on average. Like Meyerabian, he found that less than 35% of the information in a conversation is verbal, and more than 65% of the information is conveyed through non-verbal means of communication.
Most researchers share the opinion that the verbal (verbal) channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used to "discuss" interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can send a murderous look to a man, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him without even opening her mouth.
Regardless of a person's cultural level, words and the movements that accompany them match with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissle even claims that a well-trained person can tell from their voice what movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase. Conversely, Birdwissle learned to determine what voice a person is speaking by observing his gestures at the moment of speech.
It is difficult for many people to accept that man is, after all, a biological being. Homo sapiens is a species of large, hairless monkey that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements can contradict what his voice says.
When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues to verbal cues. In other words, when we say that we have a premonition, or that our “sixth sense” tells us that someone has told a lie, we really mean that we have noticed a discrepancy between the body language and the words spoken by this person. Lecturers call this the feeling of the audience. For example, if listeners sit deep in their chairs with their chins down and arms crossed over their chests, the receptive person will have a premonition that his message will not succeed. He will understand that something needs to be changed in order to interest the audience. And an unreceptive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and will aggravate his mistake.
Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to capture the smallest details. Therefore, few of the husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out the secret of a man in his eyes, which he does not even suspect.
This female intuition is especially well developed in women involved in the upbringing of young children.
For the first few years, a mother relies solely on non-verbal communication with her child, and it is believed that due to their intuition, women are better suited to negotiate than men.
Despite the fact that much research has been done, there are heated discussions about whether non-verbal signals are innate or acquired, whether they are transmitted genetically or acquired in some other way. Evidence has come from observations of blind, deaf, and deaf-mute people who could not learn nonverbal language through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made on the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives, monkeys and macaques, was studied.
The findings of these studies indicate that gestures are classifiable. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, indicating that this ability is either innate or genetic.
The German scientist Aibl-Eibesfeldt found that the ability to smile in children who are deaf or blind from birth manifests itself without any training or copying, which confirms the hypothesis of innate gestures. Ekman, Friesen, and Sorenzan confirmed some of Darwin's assumptions about innate gestures when they studied the facial expressions of people from five very different cultures. They found that people from different cultures used the same facial expressions when showing certain emotions, which led them to conclude that these gestures must be innate.
When you cross your arms over your chest, do you cross your right hand over your left, or your left over your right? Most people cannot reliably answer this question until they have done so. In one case they will feel comfortable, in the other case not. From this we can conclude that this is perhaps a genetic gesture that cannot be changed.
There is also controversy over whether some gestures are acquired and culturally determined or genetic. For example, most men put on their coats starting from the right sleeve, while most women start putting on their coats from the left sleeve. When a man passes a woman on a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards the woman as he passes; the woman usually walks away, turning away from him. Does she do it instinctively, protecting her breasts? Is this a woman's innate gesture, or has she learned it unconsciously from watching other women?
Most non-verbal gestures are learned, and the meaning of many movements and gestures is culturally determined. Consider these aspects of body language.
All over the world, the basic communication gestures do not differ from each other. When people are happy they smile, when they are sad they frown, when they are angry they look angry.
Nodding one's head almost all over the world means "yes" or an affirmation. It appears to be an innate gesture as it is also used by deaf and blind people. Shaking the head to indicate denial or disagreement is also universal, and may be one of the gestures invented in childhood. When the baby has sucked milk, he, refusing the mother's breast, makes a movement of his head from side to side. When a small child is full, he turns his head from side to side to dodge the spoon with which his parents feed him. In this way, he very quickly learns to use the shaking of his head to express his disagreement and negative attitude.
You can trace the origin of some gestures on the example of our primitive communal past. The baring of teeth is preserved from the act of attacking an opponent and is still used by modern man when he grins evilly or shows his hostility in some other way. Smiling was originally a symbol of threat, but today, when combined with friendly gestures, it denotes pleasure or goodwill.
One of the biggest mistakes newcomers to learning body language can make is trying to single out one gesture and treat it in isolation from other gestures and circumstances. For example, scratching the back of the head can mean a thousand things - dandruff, fleas, sweating, insecurity, forgetfulness, or telling a lie - depending on what other gestures accompany this scratching, so for a correct interpretation we must take into account the whole complex of accompanying gestures.
Like any language, body language is made up of words, sentences, and punctuation. Each gesture is like one word, and a word can have several different meanings. You can fully understand the meaning of this word only when you insert this word into a sentence along with other words. Gestures come in the form of "sentences" and accurately speak about the actual state, mood and attitude of a person. An observant person can read these non-verbal sentences and compare them with the speaker's verbal sentences.
rice. 4 shows a set of gestures denoting a critically evaluative attitude. The main thing here is the gesture of “supporting the cheek with the index finger”, while the other finger covers the mouth, and the thumb lies under the chin. The next confirmation that the listener is critical of you is that his legs are firmly crossed, and the second hand lies across the body, as if protecting him, and his head and chin are tilted (hostilely). This non-verbal sentence tells you something like, "I don't like what you're saying and I don't agree with you."
If you were the interlocutor of the person shown in Fig. 4, and asked him to express his opinion on what you just said, to which he would respond that he did not agree with you, then his non-verbal signals would be congruent, i.e. would correspond to his verbal statements. If he says that he really likes everything you say, he will lie, because his words and gestures will not be congruent. Studies show that non-verbal signals carry 5 times more information than verbal ones, and if the signals are not congruent, people rely on non-verbal information, preferring it to verbal.
It is not uncommon to see a politician standing on the podium with his arms crossed tightly over his chest (defensive posture) with his chin down (critical or hostile posture) and telling the audience how receptive and friendly he is to the ideas of young people. He may try to convince the audience of his warm, humane attitude by making quick, sharp blows to the podium. Sigmund Freud once remarked that when a patient verbally convinced him that she was happily married, she unconsciously removed and put on her wedding ring. Freud understood the significance of this involuntary gesture and was not surprised when the patient's family problems began to emerge.
The key to the correct interpretation of gestures is to take into account the totality of gestures and the congruence of verbal and non-verbal signals.
In addition to taking into account the totality of gestures and the correspondence between words and body movements, for the correct interpretation of gestures, it is necessary to take into account the context in which these gestures live. If, for example, on a cold winter day you see a man sitting at a bus stop with his legs crossed, his arms tightly crossed on his chest and his head down, then this will most likely mean that he is cold, and not at all his critical attitude to something. or. However, if a person in exactly the same position is sitting opposite you at the negotiating table for a deal, then his gestures should most definitely be interpreted as having a negative or defensive attitude in the current situation.
In this book, all gestures will be considered in relation to the surrounding situation, and, if possible, a set of gestures will be considered in context.
If a person has a weak handshake, then we can conclude that his character is weak, and in the chapter on the characteristics of the handshake we will explore the reasons that explain this statement. But if a person has arthritis in the joints of the hand, then he will use a weak handshake to keep the hand from pain. Therefore, artists, musicians, surgeons, and people in other delicate professions where sensitive fingers are required, usually prefer not to shake hands, but if they are forced to do so, they use a gentle handshake.
Sometimes people who wear ill-fitting or tight clothing are constrained in their movements, and this affects the expressiveness of their body language. These are quite rare cases, but it is important to keep them in mind in order to understand what psychological impact such things have on body langwidge.
Scientific research in the field of linguistics has shown that there is a direct relationship between the social status, power and prestige of a person and his vocabulary. In other words, the higher the social or professional position of a person, the better his ability to communicate at the level of words and phrases. Research in the field of non-verbalism has revealed a relationship between a person's eloquence and the degree of gesture used by a person to convey the meaning of their messages. This means that there is a direct relationship between the social position of a person, his prestige and the number of gestures and body movements that he uses. A person at the top of the social ladder or professional career may use the richness of their vocabulary in the process of communication, while a less educated or less professional person will more often rely on gestures rather than words in the process of communication.
In this book, most of the examples describe the behavior of people of the middle class, but the general rule is that the higher the socio-economic position of a person, the less developed his gestures and poorer body movements.
The speed of some gestures and their obviousness to the eye depends on the age of the person. For example, if a 5-year-old child tells a lie to his parents, then immediately after that he will cover his mouth with one or both hands (Fig. 5). This “covering the mouth with a hand” gesture will tell parents that the child has lied, but throughout a person’s life, when he lies, only the speed of making this gesture usually changes. When a teenager tells a lie, the hand covers the mouth in much the same way as a five-year-old child, but only the fingers slightly trace the line of the lips (Fig. 6).
This gesture of covering the mouth with the hand becomes more refined in adulthood. When an adult lies, his brain sends him an impulse to cover his mouth in an attempt to delay the words of deceit, as is done by a five-year-old child or teenager, but at the last moment the hand avoids the mouth and another gesture is born - touching the nose (Fig. 7). Such a gesture is nothing more than an improved adult version of the same gesture of covering the mouth with a hand, which was present in childhood. This is an example of the fact that as people age, gestures become less flashy and more veiled, so it is always more difficult to read the information of a 50-year-old person than a young one.
The most typical question is "Is it possible to fake in your own body language?" The usual answer to this question is no, because the lack of congruence between gestures, bodily signals, and spoken words will give you away. For example, open palms are associated with honesty, but when a deceiver opens his arms to you and smiles at you while telling a lie, his body's microsignals will give away his secret thoughts. It could be constricted pupils, a raised eyebrow, or a crooked corner of the mouth, and all of these signals will be countered by open arms and a big smile. As a result, the recipient tends to disbelieve what he hears. It seems as if there is a safety device in the human brain that “goes off scale” every time it registers incongruent non-verbal signals. There are, however, cases where body language is specifically taught to achieve a favorable impression. Take, for example, the Miss America or Miss Universe beauty pageants, in which each contestant is trained in body movements that radiate warmth and sincerity. The more skillfully a contestant can transmit these signals, the more points she will receive from the judges. But even experienced specialists can only imitate the desired movements for a short period of time, because soon the body will involuntarily transmit signals that contradict its conscious actions. Many politicians are experts in copying body language and use this to woo their constituents and make them believe their speeches. Those politicians who do this successfully are said to have "God's gift". The face is more often than any other part of the human body used to hide false statements. We smile, nod our heads, and wink in an attempt to hide the lie, but unfortunately for us, our body tells the truth with its signs, and there is a discrepancy between the signals read from the face and from the body, and words. Studying facial expressions is an art in itself.
Little attention is paid to this in this book, and more details are given in Facial Language by Robert L. Whiteside and Reading Faces by Leopold Bellan and Sam Sinpolier Baker.
In conclusion, it is difficult to imitate and fake body language for a long period of time, but it is useful to learn how to use positive, open gestures to successfully communicate with other people and get rid of gestures that carry a negative, negative connotation "? This will allow you to feel make yourself more comfortable around people and make you more attractive to them.
The problem with lying is that our subconscious works automatically and independently of us, so our body language gives us away. That is why it is immediately noticeable when people who rarely tell lies are lying, no matter how convincingly they present it. The very moment they begin to lie, their body begins to give completely opposite signals, which gives you the feeling that you are being lied to. During a deception, our subconscious mind throws out a bundle of nervous energy, which manifests itself in gestures that contradict what the person said. Some?1 people whose professions are directly related to deception in various forms, such as politicians, lawyers, actors and television commentators, have trained their body movements to such an extent that it is difficult for them to notice that they are telling a lie, and people fall for their bait, trust them.
©Photo by Mike Snead
"The whole variety of external manifestations of brain activity
finally comes down to a single phenomenon - muscular movement.
I.M. Sechenov
Defense gestures (defensive). They react to possible threats, conflict situations. When we see that the interlocutor has crossed his arms over his chest, we should reconsider what we are doing or saying, because he begins to withdraw from the discussion. Hands clenched into fists also mean the speaker's defensive reaction.
Evaluation gestures. They express thoughtfulness and dreaminess. For example, the "hand to cheek" gesture - people leaning their cheek on their hand are usually immersed in deep thought. Gesture of critical assessment - the chin rests on the palm. the index finger is extended along the cheek, the remaining fingers are below the mouth (the "wait and see" position). A person sits on the edge of a chair, elbows on hips, arms hanging freely (position "this is wonderful!"). The tilted head is a gesture of attentive listening. So, if the majority of listeners in the audience do not have their heads bowed, then the group as a whole is not interested in the material that the teacher presents. Scratching the chin ("OK, let's think" gesture) is used when a person is busy making a decision. Gestures with glasses (wipes glasses, takes glasses in his mouth) - this is a pause for reflection. pondering one's situation before putting up a more determined resistance, demanding clarification or raising a question.
pacing.- a gesture denoting an attempt to solve a difficult problem or make a difficult decision. The pinching of the bridge of the nose is a gesture, usually combined with closed eyes, and speaks of deep concentration "intense thought.
Boredom gestures. They are expressed in tapping the foot on the floor or clicking the cap of a fountain pen. Head in the palm of your hand. Machine drawing on paper. Blank stare ("I look at you, but do not listen").
Gestures of courtship, "beautification". In women, they look like smoothing hair, straightening hair, clothes, looking at yourself in the mirror and turning in front of it; swaying the hips, slowly crossing and spreading the legs in front of the man, stroking oneself on the calves, knees, thighs; balancing the shoes on the tips of the fingers /"in your presence I feel comfortable"/, for men - correcting the tie, cufflinks, jacket, straightening the whole body, moving the chin up and down to others.
Gestures of suspicion and secrecy. The hand covers the mouth - the interlocutor diligently hides his position on the issue under discussion. A glance to the side is an indicator of secrecy. Legs or the whole body is facing the exit - a sure sign that a person wants to end a conversation or meeting. Touching or rubbing the nose with the index finger is a sign of doubt / other varieties of this gesture - rubbing the index finger behind the ear or in front of the ear, rubbing the eyes /
Gestures of dominance-subordination. Superiority can be expressed in a welcoming handshake. When a person gives you a firm handshake and turns it so that the palm rests on top of yours, he is trying to express something like physical superiority. And, conversely, when he holds out his hand with the palm up, it means he is ready to take on a subordinate role. When the interlocutor's hand during a conversation is carelessly thrust into the pocket of his jacket, and the thumb is outside, this expresses the person's confidence in his superiority.
Readiness gestures. Hands on hips - the first sign of readiness (it can often be seen in athletes waiting for their turn to perform). A variation of this posture in a sitting position - a person sits on the edge of a chair, the elbow of one hand and the palm of the other rest on his knees / so they sit just before concluding an agreement or. on the contrary, before getting up and leaving/.
Reinsurance gestures. Different finger movements reflect different sensations: insecurity, internal conflict, fears. The child in this case sucks his finger, the teenager bites his nails, and the adult often replaces his finger with a fountain pen or pencil and bites them. Other gestures of this group are interlaced fingers, when the thumbs rub against each other; tingling of the skin; moving the back of a chair before sitting down, in a gathering of other people.
For women, a typical gesture of giving inner confidence is a slow and graceful raising of a hand to the neck.
Frustration gestures. They are characterized by short intermittent breathing, often accompanied by obscure sounds like moaning, lowing, etc. one who does not notice the moment when his opponent begins to breathe rapidly, and continues to prove his own, may run into trouble /; tightly braided, tense hands - a gesture of distrust and suspicion / one who tries, with his hands clasped, to assure others of his sincerity, usually fails /, hands tightly squeeze one another - it means that a person is in a "mess" for example, must answer a question . containing a serious accusation against him/; stroking the neck with the palm of the hand / in many cases when a person is defending himself / - women, usually in these situations, straighten their hair.
Gestures of trust. The fingers are connected like a dome of a temple (the "dome" gesture), which means trust and some self-contentment, selfishness or pride (a very common gesture in a boss-subordinate relationship).
Gestures of authoritarianism. Hands are connected behind the back, the chin is raised / this is how army commanders, policemen, and also top leaders often stand /. In general, if you want to make clear your superiority, you just need to physically rise above your opponent - sit above him if you are talking while sitting, or maybe stand in front of him.
Gestures of nervousness. Coughing, clearing the throat /one who often does this feels insecure, anxious/, the elbows are placed on the table, forming a pyramid, the top of which is the hands located directly in front of the mouth (such people play cat and mouse with partners, while they do not give them the opportunity to "reveal the cards", an indication of which is the removal of hands from the mouth on the table), jingling coins in the pocket, indicating concern about the presence or lack of money; twitching one's ear is a sign that the interlocutor wants to interrupt the conversation, but is holding himself back.
Self-control gestures. Hands behind the back and tightly clenched. Another posture is sitting in a chair, the man crossed his ankles and clasped his hands on the armrests /typical of waiting for a dentist's appointment/. The gestures of this group signal a desire to deal with strong feelings and emotions.
Body language expressed in gait.
The most important ones are speed, step size, degree of tension,
body movements associated with walking, setting socks.
Do not forget about the influence of shoes (especially for women)!
Fast or slow gait depends on temperament and strength of impulses restless-nervous - lively and active - calm and relaxed - sluggishly lazy (for example, with a relaxed, sagging posture, etc.)
wide steps(more often in men than in women): often extraversion, purposefulness, zeal, enterprise, efficiency. Most likely aimed at distant targets.
Short, small steps(more often in women than in men): rather introversion, caution, calculation, adaptability, quick thinking and reactions, restraint.
Emphasized wide and slow gait- the desire to flaunt, actions with pathos. Strong and heavy movements should always demonstrate to others the strength and significance of the individual. Question: is it really?
Pronounced relaxed gait- lack of interest, indifference, aversion to coercion and responsibility, or in many young people - immaturity, lack of self-discipline, or snobbery
Noticeably small and at the same time fast steps, disturbed rhythmically: agitation, timidity of various shades. (Unconscious goal: evade, give way to any danger)
Rhythmically strong gait, swaying slightly back and forth(with increased movements of the hips), claiming some space: naive-instinctive and self-confident natures.
Shuffling "sagging" gait refusal of volitional efforts and aspirations, lethargy, slowness, laziness.
A ponderous "proud" gait, in which there is something theatrical, not entirely appropriate, when the steps are relatively small when walking slowly (contradiction), when the upper body is held pointedly and too straight, possibly with a disturbed rhythm: overestimation of oneself, arrogance, narcissism .
Hard, angular, stilted, wooden gait(unnatural tension in the legs, the body cannot sway naturally): tightness, lack of contacts, timidity - hence, in the form of compensation, excessive hardness, overstrain
Unnatural jerky gait, emphasized large and fast steps, noticeable waving of the arms back and forth: the existing and demonstrated activity is often only meaningless employment and efforts about some of their own desires.
Constant lifting up(on tense toes): striving upward, driven by an ideal, a strong need, a sense of intellectual superiority.
Posture
Good relaxed posture- the basis is high susceptibility and openness to the environment, the ability to immediately use internal forces, natural self-confidence and a sense of security.
Immobility or tension in the body: self-defense reaction when they feel out of place and want to step back. Greater or lesser constraint, avoidance of contact, closeness, self-centered state of mind. Often sensitivity (sensitivity when you need to evaluate yourself).
Constant tightness and external rigidity with a certain coldness of manifestations: sensitive natures who try to hide behind the appearance of firmness and confidence (often quite successfully).
Bad, sluggish posture: outside and inside "hang nose".
Stooped back: humility, humility, sometimes servility. This is a spiritual state, which is confirmed by a facial expression known to everyone.
Frequently taken postures of a conventional kind(for example, one or two hands in pockets, hands clasped behind the back or crossed on the chest, etc.) - if not associated with states of tension: lack of independence, the need to imperceptibly include oneself in the general order. Often observed when several people gather in a group.
This topic is well studied in psychology, those who are familiar with it,
well oriented in society and quickly conduct a behavioral analysis of the interlocutor,
which helps a lot with further communication or rejection of it.
I advise you to download or read the book by the Australian writer Allan Pease (Allan Pease)
Body language. How to read the thoughts of others by their gestures
Body Language was first published in English in 1981. “Read any person like a book”, choose the right line of conduct, feel confident and at ease in any environment, make the most correct decisions - all this is available to everyone. The book will help you become aware of your own non-verbal signals, teach you how to use them for effective communication. Don't let yourself be manipulated!
Allan Pease. Body language. - Nizhny Novgorod: IQ Publishing House, 1992. - 272 p.
Download abstract (summary) in format or
Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language, and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements can contradict what his voice says. When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues to verbal cues.
Some gestures are innate, others are acquired, and the meaning of many movements and gestures is culturally determined. All over the world, the basic communication gestures do not differ from each other. When people are happy they smile, when they are sad they frown, when they are angry they look angry. However, in general, the non-verbal language of one nation is different from the non-verbal language of another nation.
One of the biggest mistakes newcomers to learning body language can make is trying to single out one gesture and treat it in isolation from other gestures and circumstances. For example, scratching the back of the head can mean a thousand things - dandruff, fleas, sweating, insecurity, forgetfulness, or telling a lie - depending on what other gestures accompany this scratching, so for a correct interpretation we must take into account the whole complex of accompanying gestures.
Studies show that non-verbal signals carry 5 times more information than verbal ones, and if the signals are incongruent, people rely on non-verbal information, preferring it to verbal.
A person at the top of the social ladder or professional career may use the richness of their vocabulary in the process of communication, while a less educated or less professional person will more often rely on gestures rather than words in the process of communication.
When an adult lies, his brain sends him an impulse to cover his mouth in an attempt to delay the words of deceit, but at the last moment the hand avoids the mouth and another gesture is born - touching the nose (Fig. 1).
Rice. 1. Gesture of a deceiving adult
The most typical question is "Is it possible to fake in your own body language?" The usual answer to this question is no, because the lack of congruence between gestures, bodily signals, and spoken words will give you away. For example, open palms are associated with honesty, but when a deceiver opens his arms to you and smiles at you while telling a lie, his body's microsignals will give away his secret thoughts. These may be constricted pupils, a raised eyebrow, or a curvature of the corner of the mouth.
The dimensions of a person's personal spatial zone are socially and nationally determined. While members of one nation, such as the Japanese, are accustomed to overcrowding, others prefer wide open spaces and like to keep their distance. The personal spatial territory of a person can be divided into 4 zones (Fig. 2). If you want people to feel comfortable in your company, follow the golden rule: "Keep your distance."
Rice. 2. Spatial zones of a person
The crowding of people at concerts, in cinema halls, on escalators, in transport, in elevators leads to the inevitable invasion of people into each other's intimate zones. There are a number of unwritten rules for the behavior of a Westerner in crowded conditions:
With this in mind, it's easy to see why areas with higher population densities have higher crime rates.
Moving into the intimate territory of a person of the opposite sex is a way of expressing his interest in this person and is called flirting. However, in the Japanese and many European nations, the intimate zone is only 23-25 cm. Ignorance of the cultural differences in the intimate zones of different people can easily lead to misunderstandings and misjudgments about the behavior and culture of others.
From time immemorial, an open palm has been associated with sincerity, honesty, devotion and gullibility. When a person begins to be frank, he usually opens his palms in full or in part to the interlocutor. When a child is lying or hiding something, he hides his palms behind his back. There are three basic palm command gestures: palm up, palm down, and pointing finger (Figure 3), and their corresponding three types of handshake (Figure 4).
Rice. 3. Palm position: (a) trusting, (b) dominant, (c) aggressive
Rice. 4. Handshakes (for a shirt with a dark cuff): (a) the master of the situation, (b) yielding the initiative, (c) an equal handshake
By rubbing their palms, people non-verbally communicate their positive expectations. The person throwing the die rubs it between his palms as a signal that he expects to win. Interlocked fingers indicate disappointment and a person’s desire to hide their negative attitude (Fig. 5).
Rice. 5. Interlocked fingers indicate disappointment.
Laying hands behind the back is considered a gesture of a self-confident person with a sense of superiority over others. Exposing the thumbs speaks of authority, superiority and even aggressiveness of a person (Fig. 6).
Rice. 6. Thumbs up indicates authority.
What gestures can betray a person if he is lying? These are gestures associated with touching hands to the face (Fig. 7). To disguise the hand-guarding mouth gesture, some people try to fake a cough. The nose touch is a subtle, disguised version of the previous gesture. Men also rub their eyelids, and if the lie is very serious, they turn their eyes away, usually to the floor. Women very delicately do this movement, swiping a finger under the eye. Scratching and rubbing the ear indicates the desire of the listener to isolate himself from words.
Rice. 7. Covering your mouth with your hand may indicate the speaker is lying.
By placing one or both hands on our chest, we form a barrier. This is a clear signal that the person feels threatened or threatened. When the listener crosses his arms over his chest, he not only develops a negative attitude towards the speaker, but he also pays less attention to what he hears. If you use the full gesture of crossing your arms, it becomes obvious to others that you are experiencing a feeling of fear. Sometimes we replace it with a partial, incomplete cross, in which one hand is placed across the body, taking the other hand at the elbow.
Another common variant of the incomplete barrier is a gesture in which a person holds his own hands (Fig. 8). This gesture is commonly used by people standing in front of a large audience when receiving an award or when giving a speech. This gesture allows the person to regain the sense of emotional security they experienced as a child when their parents held their hand under dangerous circumstances.
Rice. 8. Disguised protective gesture
Like protective barriers formed with the help of the arms, crossing the legs is a sign of a negative or defensive attitude of a person. Crossing the arms over the chest was originally associated with the function of protecting the heart and chest area, while crossing the legs is an attempt to protect the genital area.
When the crossed leg is also accompanied by the crossing of arms over the chest (Fig. 9), this means that the person has “disconnected” from the conversation. It would be foolish for a salesman to even try to ask a buyer in this position about his decision, and you should ask a few follow-up questions to clarify his objections. This position is very popular with women all over the world, especially if they want to express their dissatisfaction with a husband or friend.
Rice. 9. A woman expresses her displeasure
As soon as people begin to feel comfortable and close to others, they obey an unwritten law, according to which the protective posture changes to an open, relaxed one.
Most chair-riders are dominant types who try to control and dominate people if they get bored with the topic of conversation, and the back of the chair serves as a good defense against any attack from others (Fig. 10). The easiest way to disarm the rider is to stand or sit behind him, from which he will feel the vulnerability of the rear in the event of an attack and change his position, becoming less aggressive.
Rice. 10. Aggressive posture
If a lover of riding a chair comes to you and his aggressive manner annoys you, try to transfer him to a stable chair with armrests that will prevent him from getting into his favorite position.
When a person does not agree with the opinion or attitude of other people, but does not dare to express his point of view, he makes gestures that are called repression gestures, i.e. they appear as a result of restraining one's opinion. Picking up, plucking non-existent villi from clothes is one of these gestures.
There are three main head positions. The straight position of the head is characteristic of a person who is neutral about what he hears. When the head tilts to the side, this indicates that the person has awakened interest (Fig. 11). Charles Darwin was one of the first to notice that people, like animals, tilt their heads to the side when they become interested in something. Women use this head position to show their interest in an attractive man. If the head is tilted down, this indicates that the person's attitude is negative, and even judgmental.
Rice. 11. Interested head position
Laying hands behind the head is typical for people with a sense of superiority over others. This gesture is also characteristic of "know-it-alls", and many people get annoyed when someone demonstrates this gesture in front of them (Fig. 12).
Rice. 12. “Maybe someday you will be as successful as me.”
In Expressive Eyes, Hess says that the eyes transmit the most accurate and open signals of all human communication signals, because the pupils behave completely independently. When a person is excited, his pupils dilate four times against the normal state. On the contrary, an angry, gloomy mood causes the pupils to contract, resulting in the so-called "beady eyes" or "snake" eyes.
When conducting business negotiations, imagine that there is a triangle on the forehead of your interlocutor (Fig. 13a). By directing your gaze to this triangle, you create a serious atmosphere, and the other person feels that you are in a businesslike mood. Provided that your gaze does not fall below the eyes of the other person, you will be able to control the course of negotiations with your gaze. An intimate gaze passes through the line of the eyes and descends below the chin to other parts of the interlocutor's body (Fig. 13b). With close communication, this triangle descends from the eyes to the chest, and with distant communication, from the eyes to the perineum. Men and women, with the help of this look, show their interest in a person, and if he is also interested, then he will respond with the same look.
Rice. 13. Where to look: (a) business, (b) intimate
A positive, self-confident, and self-satisfied person will blow smoke upward almost constantly; conversely, a negative person, with secretive or suspicious thoughts, will almost always direct the jet downward. If good cards came to the smoking player during the distribution of cards, he will probably blow up, and if bad cards came, he will blow them down.
Looking over glasses indicates a critical judgmental attitude towards a person.
People lean against objects or each other in order to state their territorial claims to this object or person. For example, if you want to photograph your friend in front of his new car, boat, house or some other property, you will definitely see how he leans on - his newly acquired property, puts his foot or puts his hand on it (Fig. 14 ). When he touches his property, it becomes an extension of his body, and in this way he shows others that it belongs to him. Lovers constantly hold hands or hug in public.
Rice. 14. A gesture expressing a sense of pride in one's property
When you attend any official reception, evening or party, pay attention that some people communicating with each other sit or stand in the same position and repeat each other's gestures. This "mirroring" is a means by which one person communicates to another that he agrees with his opinions and views (for more on the mirror neurons of the brain, see ,).
Since ancient times, the desire to reduce one's height in front of others has been used as a means of establishing relationships of subordination. We address members of the Royal Dynasty as "Your Highness" and those who commit obscene acts are referred to as "low".
By deliberately shrinking one's figure, one can consciously avoid displeasure from others. Let's say you were speeding and the police stopped you. Since the official position of the policeman is significantly higher than yours, try to act in this way:
The turn of the body and the direction of the toe of the foot indicates the direction of the person's thoughts. From them you can determine where he would like to go. On fig. 15 shows two people talking as they walk through the door: the man on the left is trying to keep the other person's attention, but the other person wants to continue in the direction his body is pointing, although his head is turned and indicates his interest. But only when the person on the right turns his body to the other, a conversation of mutually interested people can take place.
Rice. 15. By turning the body, it is clear what a person wants to do, and where he wants to go
The angle at which people stand in relation to each other also provides information about their relationship. For example, people in most English-speaking countries stand at a 90-degree angle during a conversation (Figure 16). This posture is a non-verbal invitation to a third person to join them, standing in the place of this third point.
Rice. 16. Open triangular position
When it is required to establish a relationship of ownership or intimacy, the angle between the bodies decreases to zero degrees (Fig. 17).
Rice. 17. Closed position. The body of the body is turned towards the person you are interested in
The legs most often indicate the direction a person would like to go, but they also indicate a person who is attractive and interesting to you.
The strategic location of "forces" and the correct distribution of participants at the table is a means of their effective interaction. Different shades of people's attitude towards you can be expressed through the place they occupy at the table relative to you. For example, face B can take four basic positions relative to face A (Fig. 18).
Rice. 18. The main types of arrangement of people around the table
King Arthur used the round table to give all knights an equal amount of power and equal position. The round table creates an atmosphere of informality and ease, and is the best way to conduct a conversation between people of the same social status.
The higher the back of the chair, the more power and authority the person sitting on it has. Kings, queens, popes and other privileged persons make the back of the chair up to 2.5 meters high to emphasize their status relative to their subjects.
Hess, E. The Tell-Tale Eye, New York, 1975. Apparently not translated into Russian. - Note. Baguzin.
General understanding of body language
By the end of the 20th century, a new type of sociological scientist, a specialist in the field of non-verbalism, appeared. Just as an ornithologist enjoys observing the behavior of birds, so a non-verbalist enjoys observing non-verbal signs and signals when people communicate. He watches them at formal receptions, at the beach, on television, at work - everywhere where people interact with each other. He studies the behavior of people, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost unbelievable that in over a million years of human evolution, non-verbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only from the early sixties, and the public became aware of their existence only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research on the non-verbal aspects of communication done by behavioral scientists before 1970, but even today most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.
Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the pioneers of non-verbal communication, for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad based on how they could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When sound films became popular and less attention was paid to the non-verbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with pronounced verbal abilities began to predominate on the screen.
As for the technical side of the study of the problem of body language; Perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's "The Expression of the Emotions in Humans and Animals", published in 1872. It stimulated modern research in the field of "body language", and many of Darwin's ideas and his observations are recognized by researchers today. all over the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded more than 1000 non-verbal signs and signals.
Albert Meyerabian found that the transmission of information occurs through verbal means (only words) by 7%, by sound means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and by non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissle has done similar research on the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person only speaks words for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence lasts no more than 2.5 seconds on average. Like Meyerabian, he found that less than 35% of the information in a conversation is verbal, and more than 65% of the information is conveyed through non-verbal means of communication.
Most researchers share the opinion that the verbal (verbal) channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used to "discuss" interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can send a murderous look to a man, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him without even opening her mouth.
Regardless of a person's cultural level, words and the movements that accompany them match with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissle even claims that a well-trained person can tell from their voice what movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase. Conversely, Birdwissle learned to determine what voice a person is speaking by observing his gestures at the moment of speech.
It is difficult for many people to accept that man is, after all, a biological being. Homo sapiens is a species of large, hairless monkey that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements can contradict what his voice says.
Sensitivity, Intuition and Premonitions
When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues to verbal cues. In other words, when we say that we have a premonition, or that our “sixth sense” tells us that someone has told a lie, we really mean that we have noticed a discrepancy between the body language and the words spoken by this person. Lecturers call this the feeling of the audience. For example, if listeners sit deep in their chairs with their chins down and arms crossed over their chests, the receptive person will have a premonition that his message will not succeed. He will understand that something needs to be changed in order to interest the audience. And an unreceptive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and will aggravate his mistake.
Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to capture the smallest details. Therefore, few of the husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out the secret of a man in his eyes, which he does not even suspect.
This female intuition is especially well developed in women involved in the upbringing of young children.
For the first few years, a mother relies solely on non-verbal communication with her child, and it is believed that due to their intuition, women are better suited to negotiate than men.
Congenital, Genetic, Acquired and Cultural Signals.
Despite the fact that much research has been done, there are heated discussions about whether non-verbal signals are innate or acquired, whether they are transmitted genetically or acquired in some other way. Evidence has come from observations of blind, deaf, and deaf-mute people who could not learn nonverbal language through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made on the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives, monkeys and macaques, was studied.
The findings of these studies indicate that gestures are classifiable. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, indicating that this ability is either innate or genetic.
The German scientist Aibl-Eibesfeldt found that the ability to smile in children who are deaf or blind from birth manifests itself without any training or copying, which confirms the hypothesis of innate gestures. Ekman, Friesen, and Sorenzan confirmed some of Darwin's assumptions about innate gestures when they studied the facial expressions of people from five very different cultures. They found that people from different cultures used the same facial expressions when showing certain emotions, which led them to conclude that these gestures must be innate.
When you cross your arms over your chest, do you cross your right hand over your left, or your left over your right? Most people cannot reliably answer this question until they have done so. In one case they will feel comfortable, in the other case not. From this we can conclude that this is perhaps a genetic gesture that cannot be changed.
There is also controversy over whether some gestures are acquired and culturally determined or genetic. For example, most men put on their coats starting from the right sleeve, while most women start putting on their coats from the left sleeve. When a man passes a woman on a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards the woman as he passes; the woman usually walks away, turning away from him. Does she do it instinctively, protecting her breasts? Is this a woman's innate gesture, or has she learned it unconsciously from watching other women?
Most non-verbal gestures are learned, and the meaning of many movements and gestures is culturally determined. Consider these aspects of body language.
Basic Communication Gestures and Their Origins
All over the world, the basic communication gestures do not differ from each other. When people are happy they smile, when they are sad they frown, when they are angry they look angry.
