what to do if you are a leader and you face a difficult choice? Remember, as in a fairy tale: one cannot be pardoned, one cannot be fired, and it is not clear where to put a comma. In this article, we will talk about several ways to take the right decision. This will help not only businessmen, but also ordinary people who find themselves in a difficult situation.
Usually making a difficult decision is necessary in a difficult life situation. Stress affects a person in different ways: someone withdraws into himself, someone is worried and does not sleep at night, someone is hysterical and breaks down on loved ones. One thing remains unchanged: a person seems to fall into the trap of his own psyche, often he is not able to make a choice on his own and acts under the influence of emotions or close circle. Time shows that impulsive and ill-conceived decisions are ineffective and can ruin your business, career, your relationship, in the end. Remember: all serious decisions are made with a cool head. Therefore, before using the methods described below in practice, do this: turn off your heart and turn on your head. We'll show you how.
Now that emotions no longer influence your choice, let's talk about eight reliable decision-making methods.
Use the good old way: take a sheet of paper and a pen, draw the sheet in two. In the left column, write all the pros of the chosen solution, in the right column, respectively, the cons. Do not limit yourself to a few positions: the list should contain 15-20 items. Then calculate which will be more. Profit!
The essence of the methoda: even if you endlessly scroll through the pros and cons in your head, you are unlikely to see the full picture. Psychologists advise making written lists: this helps to organize the accumulated information, visually see the ratio of pluses and minuses, and draw a conclusion based on pure mathematics. Why not?
This method is suitable if you find it difficult to make a choice in everyday matters. For example, to raise the salary of a new employee or not worth it yet, put on the site or another company. What to eat for dinner, in the end, french fries or fish and vegetables. A difficult decision, of course, but still not a matter of life and death. In this case, it is useful to consciously create habits for yourself and continue to follow them. For example, enter an iron rule: raise the salary of employees only after six months of work in your company. It is cheaper to buy stationery products exclusively from the Skrepka company. Eat for dinner light and healthy meals You will thank yourself soon. Well, with the callback, you get the idea, yes.
The essence of the method: following habits, you will make simple decisions automatically, saving yourself unnecessary thoughts, without wasting precious time on nonsense. But then, when you need to make a truly responsible and important choice, you will be fully equipped.
This method is suitable for resolving current problems in business, team, personal life. For example, your employee speaks impolitely to customers and does not respond to comments. Question: immediately dismiss him or try to re-educate him? Try using the "if-then" technique. Tell yourself: if he once again allows himself to mistreat the client, you will deprive him of the bonus. If the incident repeats, fire.
The essence of the method:as in the first case, this is the creation of conditional boundaries within which you will act. The burden will immediately fall off the soul, and life will become much easier. And most importantly, you don’t have to waste time thinking and thinking about the fate of a negligent employee.
It was invented by the famous American journalist Susie Welch. The rule is: Before you make a difficult decision, stop and answer three questions:
Let's take an example. Let's take a young man who works as a manager, does not like work, but tolerates it, because money is needed. He dreams of quitting, taking a loan and opening his own business - a small pub, but at the same time he is desperately afraid of burning out and losing everything he has. In general, a classic case when a tit in the hands is preferred to a crane in the sky.
It is difficult for our hero to take the first step - to quit his hated job. Let's say he does it. In ten minutes, he is unlikely to have time to regret his decision. In 10 months, he will have time to rent a room, equip a pub and receive clients. And if it doesn’t work out, he will find a manager’s job anyway, so why regret? Well, in 10 years, this choice is unlikely to have any meaning at all: either the business will continue, or our hero will work in another place - one of the two. It turns out that if you follow the 10/10/10 rule, making a decision no longer becomes such a difficult task, because a person clearly understands what awaits him in the future.
The essence of the method: when making a difficult decision, we are usually overwhelmed by emotions: fear, anxiety, or vice versa, joy and excitement. A person feels it right here and now, feelings obscure the prospects for the future before him. Remember, as in Yesenin: “you can’t see a face face to face, a big one is seen at a distance.” As long as the future looks hazy and vague, the decision will be delayed again and again. Making concrete plans, presenting his emotions in detail, a person rationalizes the problem and ceases to be afraid of the unknown - because it becomes simple and understandable.
See also: Three real stories.
Paradoxical as it may seem, the most important, strategic decisions should be made in 15 minutes. A familiar situation: the company has a serious problem that requires immediate action, but the bottom line is that no one knows the right solution. For example, competitors have done nasty things, and it is not clear what to do: to respond in kind or to get out of the situation with dignity. Or the crisis hit your company, and you are confused: move to a less prestigious place or lay off a dozen employees. How to do it here right choice, and is there one? And you start to pull, unable to make a decision, in the hope that everything will resolve itself.
If you do not know which solution is correct, just imagine that there is no correct answer in this life problem. Give yourself 15 minutes and make any, absolutely any decision. Yes, at first glance it may seem nonsense. But what about planning, but what about testing and verifying solutions? OK, if you can quickly and with a minimum of investments check the correctness of the solution - check it. If this requires months of time and millions of rubles, it is better to abandon this idea and immediately note the time.
The essence of the method: needless to say, if you play for time, nothing is solved: crises do not go away, rental prices do not decrease, and competitors become even more toothy. One is not decision pulls others along, the business sags and becomes inefficient. As the saying goes, it is better to do than to regret, than not to do and regret.
The same as what we wrote at the beginning. Execute or pardon, buy a car or not, expand or wait for better times. One of the two, hit or miss, oh, was not! But who said that the problem has only two solutions? Get out of the narrow framework, try to look at the situation wider. It is not necessary to organize a large-scale expansion of production - it is enough to launch a couple of new positions. Instead of an expensive car, you can purchase a more modest option, to apply disciplinary measures to the offending employee for the first time.
The essence of the method: when there are only two solutions, there is more chance to choose the right decision, and many deliberately simplify their lives by dividing the situation into yes and no, black and white. But life is much more diverse: do not be afraid to look her in the eye and accept all possible options. The solution may be a compromise, a rejection of both extremes in favor of a third, completely unexpected solution, or a successful combination of two options. This often happens when the owner small business he cannot decide what to do: sit on the phone, deliver orders, or engage only in managerial activities. Start combining - and then you will see what works best. This will be optimal solution Problems.
We make decisions every day. Everything we say and do is the result of our decisions (conscious or unconscious). For no single choice (major or minor) there is an exact single decision formula. The best thing you can do is to look at a particular decision from different points of view, then draw up a plan of action that seems to you the most reasonable and balanced. If you need to take important decision, this may seem complicated. But there are some simple things you can do to make the decision look less intimidating. For example, think about how things would play out in the worst case scenario, and also make a table to evaluate the pros and cons of each decision, and follow your intuition. Read this article if you want to learn a little more about how to make decisions.
Part 1
Understand the source of your fearWrite about your fears. Keeping a diary of your fears will help you understand them and, as a result, help you make a decision. Start writing about the decision you need to make. Describe (or make a list of) the consequences of your decision. Allow yourself to express all thoughts about these fears, do not judge or judge yourself.
Think about what could happen in the worst case scenario. After you write about the decision you need to make, as well as the reasons why you are afraid of this decision, take the next step. Try to determine how events will develop in the worst case scenario. Put your decision in the framework of the scenario where things can go wrong. Thus, making a decision will not be so scary.
Consider whether the decision you are making will be permanent. Once you've thought about everything that could go wrong, consider whether the solution is reversible. Most decisions are reversible, so you need to keep in mind that if you don't like the decision you made, you can change it, thereby correcting the situation.
Talk to a friend or family member. Do not make a responsible and important decision on your own. Enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member to help you or at least listen to your concerns. Share with him information about this decision, as well as your concerns about what could go wrong. Just talking about your concerns about a decision can help you feel better. In addition, a close friend or family member can give you advice and support.
Part 2
Think about a solutionTake it easy. Too much powerful emotions(positive and negative) can affect your ability to take rational decisions. When you need to make a decision, the first thing you need to do is calm down. If you can't remain calm, delay making a decision until you can think it through clearly and calmly.
Find as much information as possible. In most cases, it is much easier to make a decision when you have enough information to justify it. When making decisions (especially on important topics), you should rely on logic. Find more information to have a better idea of all scenarios.
Use the 5 Whys technique to understand your problem. Ask yourself the question "why?" 5 times - this will help to uncover the source of the problem and understand why you are making this decision. For example, if you were trying to decide whether to stay in your full-time job or go to a part-time job so you can spend more time with your family, here are the possible 5 Whys:
Think about who will be affected by your decision. The first thing to think about is how the decision will affect you. In particular, how will your decision affect your personality? What are your values and goals? Decisions that don't align with your values and goals will leave you dissatisfied in the long run.
List all the options you have. At first glance, it may seem that there is only one way out, but this is usually not the case. Even if your situation seems limited, try to make a list options. Do not try to evaluate them until you have compiled full list. Be careful. If you're having trouble with a solution, discuss it with friends or family.
Make a table to evaluate the pros and cons of each solution. If your problem is complex and you're just overwhelmed possible consequences, consider creating a spreadsheet. It can be created in the program Microsoft Excel, or you can draw it on paper.
Step back to give space to your thoughts. Creative people they may not even be aware of it, but their ideas and solutions often come when they are not struggling to find those ideas. This means that creative and intelligent solutions and ideas often come to us when our mind is calm. That is why many people do meditation.
Learn to distinguish between impulsive and intelligent decision. The impulse decision usually passes after some time. For example, you might have an impulse idea to eat something, buy something, go somewhere, and so on. A reasonable decision remains in the mind for a long time. For days, weeks and months.
Part 3
Make up your mindGive yourself advice as if you were giving advice to a friend. Sometimes you have to step back to make the right choice. Think about what you would say good friend who, suppose, found himself in such a situation? What decision would you advise him to make? What would you try to draw a friend's attention to regarding his decision? Why don't you follow your own advice?
Play devil's advocate. This game will help you understand how you really feel about the decision, because in the game you will have to take the opposite view and try to pretend that it is your own point of view. If your arguments about a solution really make sense, you'll have new information to keep in mind.
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There is only one person who is able to lead fate - you yourself. It is foolish to sit in anticipation of the impossible, one must achieve success, act, be decisive, show fortitude. It happens that circumstances are against us, what to do? The answer is simple:
Agree, every person at least once suffered from depression, stress, misunderstanding or betrayal, he wanted peace, a quick solution to the problem. Alas, we must perceive the realities as they are. Until there is determination, there is nowhere to take results.
You can get rid of any obstacle and it is necessary to do it with enthusiasm, understanding that obstacles change thinking, make us stronger, wiser, more demanding.
For every trouble in life, you should look for an individual approach, which depends on many factors: goals, values, priorities, etc.
Sometimes it seems that there is no way out, making the right decision is an impossible task. But life goes on, and it is much better to be an active participant in it than to just sit and suffer constantly, and then get angry at yourself because of missed opportunities. Difficulties make it possible to enjoy joys, victories, accept defeats, adapt to changes.
So how do you make the right decision and not regret anything? This is what will be discussed in the article.
Change not for others, do not prove anything to anyone, just be conscious of the opportunity to motivate yourself correctly. Understand why it is needed, what are the ways to implement the plan, then even a difficult decision will be easier.
The most stubborn and responsible one who really wants to achieve results understands that he simply has no right to give up.
In fact, motive is an impetus to action. If arguments can be made, then this can no longer be attributed to spontaneity and thoughtlessness, which means that there is no risk of harm.
It is important to analyze your own thoughts, if in doubt - think carefully, take your time.
Let's set an example
If a girl is overweight and dreams of a perfect figure, then it is reasonable to take an example from athletes. You can seek advice from a nutritionist, and not starve yourself in a panic, ruin your health.
Motivation is great, but it needs to be real, helping you make difficult decisions, not creating more trouble.
As a rule, it is better not to make an important decision in a hurry, you need to think, weigh all the pros and cons, but if you need to decide quickly, do as you originally intended.
Usually the subconscious tells us correct option. What comes to mind first, often works with a bang.
The more we think, the more questions and doubts appear.
Before trusting your intuition, think about whether you or someone you know has been in such a situation before, is it possible to predict the outcome, is there enough experience and knowledge to independently determine the difficulties that have arisen?
There is a simple scheme proposed by Rene Descartes that will simplify the task of making the right decisions.
For example, we think about changing jobs, but we are afraid that we will screw up. Let's plunge into reality and determine how adequate thoughts visit our heads.
It is best to work with the square in writing. Detailed written answers will push you to the right decision without a doubt.
For all four questions, it is worth giving extensive statements that will help you stay in the same job or quit, break up or continue the relationship with the person. We need to find arguments in order to convince ourselves, to understand how strong values, goals, desires, priorities are.
There is always at least one person who is involved in our lives and is ready to help.
From the outside, a friend can consider the same situation, only calmer, reason more sensibly. It is easier for everyone when it concerns us indirectly.
If there is no such person, imagine that they came to you for help with such a problem, then you will be able to show calmness and a cold mind.
When it comes to something serious, you should forget about the opinion of the masses, inheritance, collective intelligence.
Based on the character, morality, values, hobbies, field of activity, priorities should be formed. We get what is close to us and makes us rejoice.
For some reason, the brightest thoughts visit at night. Naturally, no cherished insight will happen in the morning, but by delaying the moment a little, you can make a worthwhile decision. It will be rethought several times and with a logical conclusion.
Always make the final decision yourself. Do not try to push the responsibility away, to protect yourself from the problem instead of trying to solve it. Do not rely on luck or happy coincidence. Take responsibility for everything that happens in life.
Remember: Life position an outsider is a way of existence “as long as no one touches it”.
Emotions are life, but you always have to take over and be able to manage them. In the heat of the moment, you can do such things that you will have to regret for a long time.
The philosopher Jean Buridan lived in France in the 14th century. He composed a lot. But he was remembered by posterity for his parable about a donkey that starved to death due to the fact that out of two identical armfuls of hay, he could not choose the one with which it was better to start. Don't we look like such asses when we are trying to make an important decision?
Our expert - psychologist Marianna Gorskaya.
From early childhood to the end of our days, we are forced to live in a state of constant choice. What to wear: blue dress or red? Which of the fans to prefer: reliable or witty? Where to go to study: in a prestigious university or somewhere easier? Which job to choose: profitable or interesting? And so it is in everything. How one does not want to make a mistake when the choice concerns really significant things!
But before taking the final step, it would be nice to weigh everything properly. And only if, after much thought, the answer did not come by itself - then you can connect your intuition or take risks.
There are many rational decision-making methods. For example, there is a famous psychological reception: write out on a sheet of paper in two columns the pros and cons of one or another choice, and then, by a simple mathematical calculation, decide which one is more profitable. There is also a more advanced way. It's called Descartes' square. This way of making a decision is ideal when you have to choose whether to take a life-changing step or to leave things as they are. For example, this method can be used to decide whether to divorce your husband or not, change jobs or stay the same, take a mortgage or not, put up with your mother-in-law or not communicate with her until the end of your days. The essence of this simple technique is to look at the situation more broadly, not from one or two, but from four different parties. To do this, you need to divide a sheet of paper into 4 columns and answer 4 questions:
Indeed, often we consider only the pros and cons of the occurrence of a possible event, but do not take into account the positive and negative sides"status quo". A comprehensive assessment avoids unreasonable risk. And then you will not have to endure unfortunate losses that could have been easily avoided. We wish you less mistakes!
There comes a time in every person's life when they some serious decision needs to be made., which can greatly change his fate. As a rule, if a person is aware of the difficulty of his situation, then making such decisions is very difficult.. Life-changing decisions are easy to make when you don't think or when you don't know what. How can a person who understands his situation and is faced with the need to make a difficult decision find support? I invite you to think with me about possible answers to this question.
For any decision to be made time. And it's good if we are for these purposes allocate it to ourselves. In the old days, the sages used to retire on purpose in order to better focus on some important issue. Now the pace of our life is so great that it becomes more and more difficult to stop for a while and focus on something important for ourselves. And without it, it is very difficult to make a decision. After all, it is so important to think, analyze your situation, find and be disappointed in certain decisions, reach a dead end, and then again look for a way out of it. All this is an integral part of the search and decision making. And if we do not give ourselves time, then decisions can be impulsive and thoughtless, based on a fleeting mood or.
Somehow it turns out that in difficult situations ours. Or there are so many “smart” thoughts that you can get lost in them; or the wind starts to walk in the head and the mind refuses to work. In this case, relying on your own feelings. Only it should be relying on momentary emotions(joy, anger, fear, etc.), but deep feelings that live in each of us. It is very easy for someone to hear the voice of these feelings inside himself, and he just needs to listen to himself, while someone is completely unaware of how to hear the wave of his feelings in the general noise that envelops the soul. I will share with you the advice of a friend of mine who told me about how he does it. Personally, I really liked his advice.
So, for starters, you will need to find a quiet place where you can retire. Having done this, find something nearby that you can focus your attention on. It is better if it is some kind of shiny object (it is easier to focus on this for a long time). Sit comfortably, rest your eyes on this object, and sitting like this, gradually begin to listen to yourself. To do this, imagine that inside you is emptiness, silence, there is nothing. Listen to this silence and emptiness. Don't let your thoughts distract you from this silence. And if thoughts are distracting, then just note what they are about and let them go. Gradually, something will begin to appear in this emptiness. Notice what comes to the surface. These are the feelings we are looking for. They can appear in the form of images, vague premonitions, sensations in the body. As soon as you notice something in yourself, try to listen to it, and let your experiences unfold.
The whole process can be visualized as follows. You are walking through the forest and you need to go to the road where cars drive. This road is far. You are walking and following the crunch of branches and leaves under your feet, you do not hear in which direction this road is. You stop and freeze in order to listen where the road is. And you don’t hear it right away, but only after some short period of time, when the ear tunes in to silence and hearing becomes sharper. So it is with feelings. We must first stop and stop all inner work, then listen to where the “sound of your feelings” comes from inside you.
If you manage to hear the voice of your feelings, hear your true desires, then this can give support and a direction in which you would like to move. And if such a general direction becomes clear, then making a decision is much easier (and sometimes it becomes simply self-evident).
An important guideline in decision making can be a sense of inner harmony. This feeling can appear in the reverse form, in the form the senses if you refuse a decision, or vice versa, internally press on the need to make it. Usually this feeling is similar to some kind of internal discomfort, something gnaws inside and torments, as if you are betraying yourself. It is very important to ask yourself in a difficult situation: “Why am I here? Why should I do this and that? What is the meaning of my decision? If you do not know what decision to make, then it is worth asking yourself about the meaning of the situation in which you are forced to make a decision. Why were you in it? Why did they come to it? By finding the answers to these questions, you can better understand why you are in a decision or choice situation. And then you can ask yourself if you are betraying what you came into this situation for, and yourself at the same time, choosing this or that decision.
It must be said that doubts often arise in the case if the decision is made under duress(internal or external). If the solution is hard-won and internally matured there is no doubt or regret. Well, if the choice has not yet matured internally, but it needs to be made as soon as possible, then confusion and a desire to find the “right” solution appear. In this state, any choice will be wrong. Such a decision will always be followed by a train of regrets and doubts. There is only one way out - to think about what makes you right now (“as soon as possible”) to make a choice and make a decision. More precisely, what do you not like about it? And here it is better to think about what else can be done to remove this internal dissatisfaction without radically changing the situation.
Generally speaking, best advice here - don't put pressure on yourself. Don't force yourself to make a decision. Allow yourself not to accept it. Relax. Be like a samurai who, with an unshakable spirit, stands on the edge of a cliff and looks at the blue sky, enjoying its beauty. Take your time and allow yourself to take a closer look at the situation.
In any choice, in any decision, you, one way or another, forced to give up something. There is something important and valuable that must be sacrificed when choosing one or another alternative. You should be prepared for this. In order to experience the victim more effectively (so to speak) it is necessary to approach it with the awareness that what exactly are you losing. When you clearly understand what you are giving up, then it is easier for you to survive the consequences of making such a difficult decision.
In order to better understand what you will have to give up, try to complete the following sentence inside yourself: "I'll never…". Saying inside yourself everything that you have to part with, you can, on the one hand, better understand the importance of this or that alternative and, on the other hand, gain courage and readiness to take responsibility for the decision you have made. One way to help you accept this sacrifice is to recognize what you are paying for in terms of the goods you are giving up. This is your choice, and for every life choice we have to pay something, and sacrifice something for the sake of something more valuable to us.
To give your decision more weight, you need to "energize him". How to do it? There are two options here. On the one hand, you can take one of the alternatives that you want to refuse, and imagine the worst possible scenario. This can be done by saying to yourself such words: “if I choose this and that, then I will suffer all my life from this and that.” You can do it like this.
Or you can find the positive that is in the choice that you are inclined to, and keep it in your mind, in your imagination, keep it as a goal, as the lighthouse you want to bring your ship to. Can more often remember the good things you strive for especially in moments of doubt and hesitation.
